She was a changeling, newly adept and was being chased by some bullies at school.
As she was running through the woods trying to escape, a hummingbird flew past her. Instantly she noticed its speed and agility. 'Always research the animals you intend to duplicate in your transformational state. It may save your life.' Her instructors words echoed in her mind.
Out of breath she chanced a glance backward, they were closing. There were five of them. All with ill intent.
She found a quiet place under some dead fall. Quickly she quieted her mind, created the image, and began to change just as the boys reached her.
The oldest, Tommy, reached out his hand to capture her, but all he received was a bloody wound on his hand where she embedded her needle like beak. Then in a blink of an eye she was gone.
She flew up into the trees, circling the boys on the ground watching them from her vantage point. So engrossed was she that she failed to see the other hummingbird approach until it was too late.
A flicker of movement caught her eye. The other bird charged with a "kill" intent. She dived. He followed. She had never been a hummingbird before, so could not maneuver as naturally as the other. She flew at lightening speed, he matched her pace. She shot like a cannon ball in and around large leaves heavily laden with water. Ducking, swerving, unerringly around foliage, always with the other on her tail matching her every move.
Even at her breakneck speed, her eyes searched for her next opening, any place for safety, to rid herself of this lethal threat behind her.
Finally she saw it. A large multicolored bird sitting alone on a branch. It was raised up just enough that if she put forth just a small amount of extra effort, she could fit between its bottom and the branch in which it sat. Breathless, she exerted herself and shot through between the bird and the branch. Clearing that she shot straight upward, then circled and spun at high velocity downward. She ended up under a variety of large flowers breathless and extremely tired. She rested for a moment waiting to see if the danger had passed. She did not see the other bird. Did not know that after she had flown under the multicolored bird it had not wanted a repeat, so did not allow the other one to follow suit. It was not injured, simply detoured. She filled herself full of nectar, replenishing vital energy. Then landed safely on the ground where she once more assumed her natural appearance.
To her surprise, a young man two years older appeared not too far off, and upon seeing her, approached. "You gave me quite a run."
Stunned, all she could do was look at him.
As she was running through the woods trying to escape, a hummingbird flew past her. Instantly she noticed its speed and agility. 'Always research the animals you intend to duplicate in your transformational state. It may save your life.' Her instructors words echoed in her mind.
Out of breath she chanced a glance backward, they were closing. There were five of them. All with ill intent.
She found a quiet place under some dead fall. Quickly she quieted her mind, created the image, and began to change just as the boys reached her.
The oldest, Tommy, reached out his hand to capture her, but all he received was a bloody wound on his hand where she embedded her needle like beak. Then in a blink of an eye she was gone.
She flew up into the trees, circling the boys on the ground watching them from her vantage point. So engrossed was she that she failed to see the other hummingbird approach until it was too late.
A flicker of movement caught her eye. The other bird charged with a "kill" intent. She dived. He followed. She had never been a hummingbird before, so could not maneuver as naturally as the other. She flew at lightening speed, he matched her pace. She shot like a cannon ball in and around large leaves heavily laden with water. Ducking, swerving, unerringly around foliage, always with the other on her tail matching her every move.
Even at her breakneck speed, her eyes searched for her next opening, any place for safety, to rid herself of this lethal threat behind her.
Finally she saw it. A large multicolored bird sitting alone on a branch. It was raised up just enough that if she put forth just a small amount of extra effort, she could fit between its bottom and the branch in which it sat. Breathless, she exerted herself and shot through between the bird and the branch. Clearing that she shot straight upward, then circled and spun at high velocity downward. She ended up under a variety of large flowers breathless and extremely tired. She rested for a moment waiting to see if the danger had passed. She did not see the other bird. Did not know that after she had flown under the multicolored bird it had not wanted a repeat, so did not allow the other one to follow suit. It was not injured, simply detoured. She filled herself full of nectar, replenishing vital energy. Then landed safely on the ground where she once more assumed her natural appearance.
To her surprise, a young man two years older appeared not too far off, and upon seeing her, approached. "You gave me quite a run."
Stunned, all she could do was look at him.
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Re: humming bird flight
Tue, March 2, 2004 - 11:39 PMK Paul.. how's this one.. ? let me know..
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Re: humming bird flight
Wed, March 3, 2004 - 11:23 AMGood. You've got my interest. 5 humming birds after you, with ill intent. Anybody would smile at that picture.
But your miss-use of tense is very distracting. You continually start sentences with the word she. I think it might read better if done in the first person. And when writing in first person, try not to use the word "I" unless you absolutely have to.
When you say, "she was running..." that implies "was running" as in something that happened already. The story would be much more exciting if you said, "is running" or "am running". As a mindset of, trying to "allow the reader to be there as a in the moment as witness."
The concept of how people change into animals, is remarkably refreshing. There's LOT of possibilities there. This character, or these people that have this ability to change in birds would be of interest to a wide audiences. Very few people have explored this point of view in fiction.
PS: I may be all wrong about this. I am not a professional editor, nor for that matter, have I myself ever been published. -
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Re: humming bird flight
Wed, March 3, 2004 - 2:34 PMthis may be true.. but you are an avid reader and that qualifies you to be more candid about what you enjoy reading.
It is more honest then an editor would be, I think.. Thank you once more...I alwasy enjoy your input.
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